I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
