He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
