She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize