im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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