why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
