I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
