Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
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As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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