Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
