omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize