The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
