Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
