is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
we're so committed to being not committed
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
