love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
