And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
People in love make me want to vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize