Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you had me at cake vodka
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
