A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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