Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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