Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
