GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
