gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
