so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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