i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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