At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
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I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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