She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
