dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
