i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
