did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
