Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Say something about gay babies.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
