He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
