the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
