Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
