White coat. Heels.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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