Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
