it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
