i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
