we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
