mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize