Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
