Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
