what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize