I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize