He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
