didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
