I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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