All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
