So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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