I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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