I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
