I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
