Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize