i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
