I think my vagina is haunted
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
