How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
