I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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