I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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