No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize