She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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