apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you inspire me to be a worse person
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
