But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
