Do you still have your period?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
dude. I can hear the air.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
